


死亡之吻 (kiss of death)

by Katychouki



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Twins, Jiangshi, M/M, RK900 is named Collin, Sibling Incest, Slow Burn, Sumo is a female labrador
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-08-10 14:14:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20136787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katychouki/pseuds/Katychouki
Summary: Autumn 2038.Two young men and their dog had left their home since nearly a year. It became too dangerous to stay a homebody since the deads woke up. Life is hard now, between the living corpses, starvation and the too suspicious people or crazy ones. But as long as they are together, and as long as their ancestors keep an eye on them, everything will be alright...This is a dystopia where characters's ethic and beliefs will be questioned accompanied by chinese folklore.





	1. An ordinary day...

**Author's Note:**

> Firtsly, I'd like to thank you for reading my fanfiction. Secondly inform you about some things:  
-I'm not english nor chinese. If there are errors, please, feel free to inform me about it so I can fix them !  
-At the end, in the notes, I'll add a glossary but if there are things that I didn't put in it and you are curious about, you can tell it to me in the comment !  
-I'll had chapters if you'd really like to !
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy !

Two men were silently moving forward in an abandoned neighborhood.  
The youngest one was leading the way, his twin and the dog were following him. The three of them were on their guard, paying attention to the slightest noise. The spirit of the shortest was drowning in thoughts, but was not that so since the beginning of the end of the world ? The tallest one brought them in an air-shed. There was not a single sound in there. We could only hear the wind of autumn blowing softly.  
Sumo yelped and the oldest one immediately closed her mouth with his hands.  
« Shh !  
-Connor... »  
The concerned one jumped slightly when he heard his name.  
He was used to silence between him and his little brother now.  
He looked up at the blue horizon eyed man and everything got suddenly slow.  
Or rather no, everything seemed to be shifted. He could see Collin, he could perfectly see his movements, and yet, everything was becoming blurry to his eyes. And the sound of the gun that he was reloading reached his ears seconds after. The tallest handed the weapon to his big brother. The ancient lieutenant frowned and stared it before staring at his reflection, confused.  
« Do not stare at me like that, Connor.  
-Why are you giving me your gun ?  
-You know perfectly why. Do not play fool with me... »  
Deep down inside of him, he had an idea of what Collin was asking him. But...No. No, it couldn’t be that. Collin is...Collin isn’t like this. He would never do that.

« N-no. What do you want me to do ? »  
The look of the cadet became colder and made the elder shiver.  
« Connor... »  
He took his hands away from the animal.  
He looked at him more kindly and exploited their contact to give him the gun.  
« We...we cannot keep her with us. »  
Connor’s doubts were right. He immediately released his brother’s hand and stepped aside from him.  
« What ?! Collin ! »  
The little brother got colder again. He stayed impassive, knowing that only autority would work on him.  
« You know it like me, big brother. We cannot keep Sumo with us. She is eating too much and attract the zombies because she always is barking for nothing.  
-How can you say that, Collin ?! She’s our dog ! She’s with us since far before the apocalypse ! It is...it is out of question that we kill her...do you hear me…?!  
-Think wisely. She could cause our death.  
-BUT FOR FUCK SAKE COLLIN ! »  
The concerned slapped him, the dog barked.  
Collin grabbed him by the collar and got him closer to him while the animal keep barking.  
« Stop screaming, you idiot. »  
He then looked at the dog and closed tightly, too tightly, her mouth with his hands.  
« And you shut up. »

The oldest of the two was terrified.  
Because he was about to loose his friend, his precious friend ? Because the way his brother was acting ? Or because of the living deads were about to come and every second that had passed could sign their death warrant ? Immediately, he would rather said that he was scared of his cadet. He always had been cold and distant with others. But never with him. So why was he acting like this now ? Why was he suddenly become heartless with him ? For their survival ? For his sake ?  
Yeah, his little brother would surely say that if he’d asked him why ! But he would lie if he’d say that !  
« God fucking dammit ! What’s your problem ?! Firstly, you don’t hit me.  
-If you shout…  
-No no, no no. I don’t wanna know. You don’t hit me. Next time you’ll do it, I swear that I’ll crush my baseball bate right into your guts. »  
The two men got closed, trying to be more imposing than the other.  
« Why do you do that ?!  
-Doing what ? Protecting us ?  
-YOU’RE NOT PROTECTING US ! »  
The elder had the reflex to dodge his cadet trying to punch him again.  
« You’re not protecting us ! You’re not protecting us ! You’re not protecting us ! What the fuck happened to you ?! You weren’t like this before ! »

The blue horizon eyed man clenched his fists.  
« I didn’t changed.  
-Of course you did changed ! You weren’t like this before ! Before you were kind ! Before you were...you were human ! Now, I just have the impression to hang out with a psychopath ! A mad frustrated person that kill everything that is not human so he can’t be thrown in jail ! »  
Collin moved toward him. Connor moved back by an uncontrolled reflex. He was scared. His survival instinct shouted him to run away, far from here. But the fear and the astonishment to be terrorized because of his dearest brother were gluing him to the ground.  
Collin was menacing.  
Collin was scary.  
He had the look of a mad person, both cold, heartless and atrociously disturbing.  
The tallest one stopped moving only to take the weapon from his hands.  
« Give me this, you useless idiot. »  
He pointed the gun toward the dog and his brother was about to beg him not to do that.  
But his voice blocked.  
Several seconds already passed.

Collin was staring at his dog.  
Collin was staring at his brother's present.  
He could see a little box with a cute puppy inside in front of him.  
He could feel the warm yellow lights of the house.  
He could feel his brother softly kissing his cheek and then gently rubbing his back, wishing him a « happy birthday, dear little brother ».  
He remembered the soft and pleasant feeling of holding the cute little ball of fluffy black hairs in his arms, the feeling of her fur against his skin, the feeling of hey tiny tongue gently tickle the tip of his nose, the feeling of exhaustion after the walk...The feeling of a normal life, the life of the past…  
The ancient detective felt his arm shake.  
His eyes met the dog’s one. It didn’t changed. It still as vivid and loving as their first meeting.  
Collin started to breath abnormally.  
The tears were about to fall from his eyes, no, they were already smashed on the ground. He was choking.  
« Shit...I...I… ! »  
He threw the weapon on the ground and started to hop from one foot to the other quickly.  
« Shit, shit SHIT ! I can’t ! Fuck ! It sucks ! »  
Connor looked at him getting more and more angry, walking without goals or to calm down himself. He was saying reviles and reproaches to everything in the world.  
He pitied him but he still was also scary.  
But why was he scary despite the fact he was also scared and sad ?  
The ancient lieutenant finally understood. Collin wasn’t really scary. He wasn’t the problem himself. The problem was that he loosed his temper. His twin always had been calm and collected. That was something that a quality he always had admired. It was reassuring him. Connor could always panicked, Collin would always calmly find the solution for the problem.  
But it was no longer the case today.  
Today, Collin was scared. Today, Collin couldn’t fully reassure him. And yet, he kept on trying to find solutions.  
However, Connor was the leader between them. He should be the one finding solutions.  
The lieutenant stared his brother a few more moment.  
This vision of him was annihilating his heart.  
He fetched the gun and faced Sumo. He knelled down and she gently licked his face.  
Connor no longer held back his tears. He smiled at her and kissed her.  
« Yeah, I love you too, Sumo... »  
He lovingly caressed her. He noticed that he no longer heard his brother’s insults nor footsteps.  
He turned around to be sure that he still was there. Collin was indeed there. He was staring at them, agape, crying all the tears he had.

The two brother stared silently at each other a long moment. The elder one tried to smile, but he had a lump in the throat.  
« Do you... »  
He forced himself to smile.  
« Do you want to say her goodbye.. ? »  
Collin seemed to be horrified. He shook his head, the movement slowly getting faster.  
He moved back, terrorized.  
« N-No...no… ! No ! NO ! »  
He didn’t managed to say anything else.  
Struck by fright, he fled from the air-shed, leaving his big brother face the responsibility alone.  
Connor sigh sadly and stood up. He looked at her one last time before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He squeezed a little more the gun in his hands to reduce his shaking. He counted in his head. Two seconds before pulling the trigger...No, five...No, fifty...He pulled the trigger.  
He heard Sumo’s squeak, the echo of the sound of the gun and the birds flying away. He opened his eyes and saw the inanimate body of Sumo draining itself of its blood. He stared at it. He starred at it long seconds, desperately trying to find a movement, searching desperately her stomach getting bigger and then becoming thin gain while she was breathing…  
But no, the time had stopped. No, the time didn’t stopped, the time was running out. His look meet the dog’s one. It wasn’t vivid and loving anymore. It was empty now. Connor breathed again, anxiously.  
How could it be possible ? A few seconds before, she licked him. One minute before, she was barking. One hour before, she was gamboling.  
How could she be motionless now ?

The brown eyed man put his hand on his mouth, horrified and disgusted. He made one a step backward and finally turned around before quickly moving forward. He should be more rapid, the corpses should come within a few minutes. That was the reason he found to mop up his cowardice. Thinking that his friend will be those dirty corpse's next meal made his heart squeezed painfully.  
Connor finally started to run to reach the air-shed’s exit and searched for his reflection. He moved forward and at the wall’s angle, he saw his little brother, backed against the wall, his hands crushed between his back and the wall, eyes widened and drowning in the tears. He was panting like he had ran a marathon. The oldest of them wiped his own tears away and lifted up his cadet. Then, he gently rub his back and carefully wiped his rolling salty pearls away.  
« Come on, Collin...it’ll be okay, it’s going to be okay…  
Big brother… ! My-my... »  
Connor kissed his forehead and hugged him.  
« She has been very brave. Don’t worry, she’ll go to heaven, she’ll be happy and she’ll eagerly wait for us, like when we were getting back from work. »  
He peppered his brother’s face with gentle kiss. He moved back and took his hand in his.  
« Come on. We must quickly get out from here. The zombies will soon be there. »  
Collin still was crying and dragging behind him. Connor was eager to find a shelter so he can peacefully pamper his dear little brother. Today, Connor had to be the brave one between the two of them. 

Once arrived in a safe place, in height in a little in a small house, the elder barricaded them inside with the old furnishes. Then, he sat on the grown and backed against a wall before taking his brothers in his arms again.  
The cadet still was crying, but he was trying to stop, so his breathes were quite painful and difficult. Connor caressed his head and kissed it.  
He murmured :  
« Shh...ca-calm down, Collin. Don’t keep yourself from crying. Just...do it silently, silently... »  
The cadet was desperately hanging on his brother.  
He was scared, oh so scared ! His destiny, his temper, his choices, everything was slipping through his fingers. He wasn’t controlling anything, he was just undergoing and he hated it. Even as a kid he wasn’t such a coward ! His tears were strangling him. He was trying to calm down, but things were only getting worse.  
« Big...Co-Connor…  
-I know…  
-I...I’m scared, big brother... »  
The concerned one kissed him again and cuddled him even more. He could feel his little brother’s heartbeat and those were informing him that he was terrorized.

Hours were going by, the boys weren’t moving at all. They still heard the corpses groaned in the street. They still heard pieces of flesh been torn apart, devoured, smashed…Connor looked at his brother. He had fell asleep. It was kinda reassuring. The ancient policeman sank his hand in his brother’s hair. Connor still was awake, still was scared.  
The lieutenant took his jacket and draped it. He put it next to him and shifted his cadet on it so he can stand up. The youngest opened his eyes and his big brother carefully caressed his head before kissing his cheek.  
« Hush...there’s nothing, go back to sleep, dear Collin…  
-I’m cold, big brother... »  
Connor smiled at his and kissed him again.  
« I’m coming right now. »  
He quietly removed his shoes and went to the window. There was a few bunches of zombies down there. They’ll have to wait here tomorrow too. The young man sighed. He heard the parquet cracked behind him. He turned around. He saw his brother, staring at him, hoping for a good news.  
Connor smiled at him and moved toward him.  
« We couldn’t go tomorrow... »  
He sat next to his little brother and tenderly caressed him.  
« But we’ll soon can…  
-What will we do then tomorrow ? »

The oldest of the two looked away and took a carefree tone.  
« Like everyday, I suppose ?  
-Survive… ? »  
The big brother’s smile faded a moment, a cold and silent moment, just enough so he could think of something reassuring to say to him. He smiled again.  
« No, you mustn’t see things in that angle ! Let’s think...what could we do...We could... »  
They stayed silent a few seconds before Connor happily said :  
« We could read on the book I found !  
-Your children’s book ?  
-Yeah, okay, listen...We have a book and that’s already very good like this ! »  
Collin stared at the ground, drowning them in another silence.  
He asked his brother :  
« Connor ?  
-Yeah ?  
-Do you think...do you think that you could... »  
He sighed, exasperated, expelling this idea.  
« No...forget about it…  
-What ?  
-Forget it.  
-No. Tell me.  
-I just told you to forget it, Connor.  
-Collin, tell me what it is ! I want to know. What did you want ? It’s the end of the world, you have nothing to hide to me anymore.  
-It’s not important, Connor... »

Connor lied down next to him and caressed his face with the back of his hand.  
« What’s going on, Collin… ? Do you want me to read you a story… ?  
-I don’t need it. I’m not a child anymore... »  
Collin took his hand and closed his eyes.  
« I just want to be with you, big brother... »  
The concerned one smiled honestly at him. He kissed his and said :  
« We’ll always be together, Collin. I promise it. »  
He hugged him and kissed his head.  
« I really like you, Collin... »  
He cuddled with him, like if through his dear brother, he was reassuring himself.  
« My little baby... »  
He closed his eyes too.


	2. Tension

The elder threw the colorful papers into the burning fire of the rusted can. He closed his eyes and prayed his ancestors to watch over him and his brother. Collin, who was far away from him, grumbled :  
« This is stupid, Connor. You’re wasting the lighter’s gasoline for nothing. »  
Connor turned over him and looked sad.  
« Maybe it’s useless...But maybe there is people, up there...And if it’s the case…  
« And if it’s the case ? Don’t be stupid, Connor. The only thing you are doing is wasting both our resources and our time in addition to pollute ! »  
He took his wrist and pulled his brother toward him so they can move on.  
« You are ridiculous. You didn’t believe in this before. What’s wrong with you suddenly ? I didn’t knew that you have taken spirit money before we left the house.  
-What are you saying ? I always believed in it !  
-Wrong. »  
Connor grunted.  
« Okay, not always. But now, I want to believe, okay ? And that’s my right.   
-As long as it does not cripple us. »  
The oldest broke free from his brother.  
« Because what I’m doing cripples you ?  
-Yes. I told it to you already. Your wasting both our resources and our time…  
-I’m wasting our time ?! I prayed ! I prayed for protection so we can survive together !  
-And what if another horde suddenly came ? Will you stop to give an offering for some chimeras ? For nothing ? »

The lieutenant punched the detective’s shoulder. The detective frowned but didn’t do anything.  
« It’s not the same thing ! It’s because we’re alone with no danger around that I allow myself to pray !  
-Extreme situations sure make people dumb. »  
Collin kept going while Connor could only watch him. He raised his voice.  
« Because you, the Collin Anderson, GREAT DPD detective, you’re an exception to the rule ?! »  
The concerned one gave him a small dirty look.  
« Yeah, it’s because you are so brilliant that you never have been promoted lieutenant ! »  
This time, the young blue horizon eyed man turned around. His brother had deeply vexed him.  
« You know that it’s not because of my intelligence that I never could get this promotion !  
-Are you sure about that ? Because I highly doubt on what you are saying. »  
Collin started to get close to him but grunted and renounced.  
« So what ? You don’t have the balls to kick my ass ?  
-It has nothing to do with that…  
-Pussy. What about the time you were shitting on my beliefs ?  
-It has nothing to do with that ! Don’t you just prayed for our survival ?! How do you want it to work if we’re fighting ?! You are calling me pussy ? Well, let me tell you something, big borther, you’re even worse than me ! You’re an asshole ! If I pray one day, it’ll be for the extermination of your kind of vermin ! »  
The two of them then shut up and kept going. 

The silence remained several minutes, maybe even several hours. Connor was walking behind his brother. A few meters were separating them.  
« Collin... »  
The concerned one didn’t answer.  
« Collin...It’s starting to rain... »  
The tallest didn’t answer again. So the shortest moved faster, maybe even ran to his brother. When he finally was close to him, he started to walk at his pace again. He gently handled his sleeve and put his head on his back. To his surprise, he stopped.  
« Collin...let’s shelter ourselves... »  
Being in one of the town's most populated place, the two young men were worried about the idea of getting in house. Well, they’d rather prefer to go in a small house than in a sky-scrapper. Maybe they’ll go in a building later. Or maybe not. The rain was already pouring. Connor and Collin ran toward the nearest bus shelter. They sat down, almost soaked.  
Connor sighed mildly. He wanted to apologize to his brother, but for an unknown reason, he wasn’t able to do it. Maybe because of his ego, maybe because he feared to be rejected.  
But he didn’t had the time to think of it. He heard his cadet gasp. He looked at him, and his brother showed him to look behind him.  
Connor overturned and gasped as well. He saw a group of corpses, not a horde, but quite a bit number, coming to them, or no, rather following the shape of the street. The brothers stared at each others and agreed with that single stare. They decided to stay here and stay silent, under the bus shelter. Soon, the living corpses walked in front of them. Collin had the reflex of taking his brother and in one of his, and put his other on his own mouth and nose. He cut off his breathing and without taking the knowledge of it, Connor did the same. It was stupid, totally stupid to do that, and they knew, but they did it anyway. A smile flashed on the lieutenant’s face. Maybe Collin believed in their religion even if he didn’t admit it...He smiled again. This reflex was rather coming from their childhood.

« « Krasues eat pregnant people?! » Oh ! Then, Collin, you’ll be the first one to be eaten ! »  
The lassie pushed her cousin.  
« Hey ! Cut it out ! You’ll-you’ll going to be-be eaten too… ! »  
The young woman laughed softly.  
« She won’t eat you if you don’t go outside of the house during the night. »  
Chloe receded from Collin.  
« One of them will eat Collin !  
-Stop it, it’s not funny. »  
Even if his brother defended him, Collin went pouting on his mother’s lap. His mother kissed his head and wrapped him with her arm, while she held the book with her other hand. She kept reading fairy tales, children listening more or less, Connor and Chloe gently fighting each other like puppies. The young woman often stopped reading to show her son and her niece the images of the book. She turned the page and the youngest of the three suddenly cut his breathing and put his hand on his face. She showed the image to the others and they acted like him. The children seemed to be suddenly scared. The woman threw an accomplice look to the door and kept reading, and very soon, the little girl, followed by her cousins, screamed when she something suddenly grabbed her shoulders. Connor ran toward his mother who twitted but wrapped her arm around him anyway, in protectiveness. When the boy overturned, he had a hard time it was only his aunt and not a monster. His aunt took her daughter in her arms, very amused. The two women guffawed.  
« Do you have fun frightening the kids, Kate ?  
-You bet, Ray ! »  
She kissed Chloe’s forehead because she started to cry.  
« You’re the one who read them scary stories ! »  
Ray laughed softly.  
« I’m just reading them story tales, with morals in it…  
-Fairy tales with morals ! I’d rather read the little mermaid to my daughter rather than yours !  
-Well, you’ll thank me when he’ll be a teenager, my dear sister... »  
Kate acted like she was shocked.  
« What ?! My daughter ?! Growing up ?! No ! She’ll always be my little baby, right Chloe ? »  
She kissed her crying kid again.  
« Oh, mommy scared you this much ? »  
The blond girl nodded.  
« Oh, I’m so sorry, my sweet little Chloe. I didn’t wanted to scare you... »

The boys’ mother stare at her sister and the both of them laughed. She didn’t paid attention to the trouble the boys were making.  
« Step aside ! Let me sit on mama’s lap too ! »  
The cadet didn’t pay attention to him and held tightly to his mother’s shirt. Connor tomped the floor anxiously and raised his voice while tears started to bead in his eyes.  
He squeaked :  
« Come on ! Let me sit ! Let me sit ! Let me sit… ! »  
His mother sighed.  
« Calm down Connor... »  
She slightly shifted the tallest and put the shortest on her lap as well. He immediately clinged to her and, feeling his mother holding him close to her, he let himself cry, knowing he was safe here.  
He looked at his brother. His brother wasn’t crying, but he seemed to be stressed as well. He was anxiously chewing his thumb. The elder didn’t knew why, but seeing him like that was reassuring him. He was really impressed by his brother. He was way more brave and mature than him. While the two mothers kept talking, the warm brown eyed boy quietly whispered :  
« Collin...Could you...Could you give me your hand please… ? »  
The concerned one frowned lightly and stop chewing his thumb.  
« Are you scared ? »  
Collin didn’t need his brother’s answer, he could see by his fearful, and maybe a bit shameful, expression that he was indeed scared. He took his small hand in his and squeezed it gently.  
« Never let it go, please... »  
Connor noticed the way his brother was surprised by his request. But he promised anyway.  
« I’ll never let it go, I swear... »

The zombie wave had passed. Collin released his elder’s hand, but his elder took immediatly his hand again. The tallest of them overturned to him and saw him, head down.  
He midly enunciated :  
« Do you remember when mama were reading stories to us… ? »  
The detective frowned slightly.  
« Yes I do. Why are you asking that ?  
-Do you remember when I was afraid and...and you would give me your hand to reassure me ? »  
A short silence happened between the young men. Soon, the blue horizon eyed boy asked :  
« Are you scared ? »  
Connor sighed anxiously and let his head fell on his brother’s torso.  
« Don’t let it go...Don’t ever let it go please... »  
The oldest of them felt his brother’s heart beat violently. However, he wrapped his warm around his waist and gently squeezed his hand in his before putting his head against his. He answered calmly :  
« I won’t let it go, Connor. »  
A muffled whisper escaped the concerned one’s lips :  
« I really like you Collin... »  
He felt his brother’s heart beat violently again.  
« I...I really like you too, Connor. »  
The lieutenant wrapped his arms around the detective’s neck and hid his face in its crook.  
« I like you...I like you so much, my dear little brother...I’m so damn sorry for earlier…  
-It’s... »  
He took his brother’s face in his hand, and Connor put his hands on his.  
« It’s nothing. Anyway, I’m the one who started.  
-But I shouldn’t had talk to you this way either. I know how much you hate people saying you’re just a Beta. And yet I talked like them to hurt you...Whereas I like you... »  
He sighed and ironically smiled.  
« I really am dumb...I really am a vermin.  
-Don’t say that. You’re not a vermin.  
-You told it yourself. »

Collin stared at him a moment before sighing and hugging him.  
« Alright, I do have said that. And I’ve been dumb as well. I just wanted to hurt you because I was mad at you. So, yeah, we are two idiots. »  
Connor laughed softly and his cadet lightly stepped back to see him smile so he could smile as well.  
« I must apologize too, big borther. I really am sorry for earlier.  
-You are forgiven. »  
The lieutenant released himself from the hug and looked around them.  
« We must find somewhere to sleep tonight.  
-Aren’t you forgetting something, big brother ?   
-Me ? Forgetting something ?  
-Maybe I’m waiting for your apologize. »  
Connor smiled playfully at him and his brother did the same.  
« Like I’ll apologize to you ! »  
Collin wrapped an arm around his elder’s neck and bring him close to him before laughing.  
« You fucking jerk... »  
The shortest laughed as well while he thought. Every second that passed was a miracle, a miracle that they still were alive and together. But how many time will they kept being lucky like this ? How many time before the miracle stops ? Connor had a small hope that it would last long if their ancestors had listen to his prayers. Yes, he firmly hoped that they heard him and that they will protect them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !
> 
> *Spirit money is an offering for ancestor's spirit. It is money that they can use in their after life  
*A lot of chinese ghosts are blind but can see you when you're breathing  
*In my ABO dynamic, Beta can empregnant Omegas and other Betas. They can also be pregnant thanks to other Betas or Alphas


	3. Murderous intent

Alone in the room, the lieutenant was short winded. He was worried sick. He knew, oh good Lord, he knew he shouldn’t have left him alone. He decided to stand up and leave but suddenly stopped. What if Collin came back while he was gone ? What if then, Collin started to worry and leave as well ? Maybe they would never see each other again ? Maybe they would search each other forever ? Connor leaned against the wall. It was exhausting. He didn’t knew what to do. Searching for him or waiting for him, maybe for nothing ?   
But he suddenly heard a sound in the ground floor. During a moment, he thought that his brother finally returned, but there was something wrong with the footsteps. The young brown haired man listened carefully and drew a conclusion : It wasn’t Collin, the person seemed to discover the house for the first time.  
The policeman quickly but quietly took a few important things in the room and hid himself behind the broken wall. Behind that wall, there was another room, but it was very dark inside, we couldn’t see anything. Connor soon heard the abrupt footsteps ascend and enter the room. The lieutenant breathed quietly. The footsteps stopped. The person was visibly observing the room. They then moved forward again. They ransacked the wardrobe and violently closed it, finding nothing. Connor slightly turned his head to the left and could see the unknown man. He had a short blond hair and was wearing strange clothes. The lieutenant could say that it strangely looked like crusaders’ outfit but more colorful and clumsily handmade. The mysterious man overturned and stared at the hole in the hole when he heard the floor creaked. Connor closed his eyes. He knew he couldn’t see him, well, not from where he stood. However, this person, curious, came closer to the hole. The policeman stopped breathing, wanting to make the least noises possible that could trigger suspicion. The blond person stopped in front of the hole and left when he heard the wind blowing outside and making the wood crack. He came back down at full speed and left the home. Connor came down too and discreetly observed him by the window.  
« Hum...Our Lord had said that this man has a brother to sacrifice too… He surely left already. »  
There, he saw him taking a spray paint and paint the nearest wall.  
Connor’s heart skipped a beat has he heard him. Did he kidnapped Collin ? He do really talk about making sacrifice ?  
Good Lord ! He brother was in great danger !

The elder got ready to take out his weapon and shot the strange man. But he renounced. What should he do ? Maybe there was other person like him ? And where could they be ? Where did he come from ? Where was he kipping Collin ? Did Connor should follow him patiently while his brother could die at any moment ?  
Well, that was the best thing to do if he wanted to find him. So, he left the home and followed him from afar. At each street corner, there was a graffiti depicting a religious and radical message.  
Anderson quickly understood that the more writing there was on the wall, the more close he was of the fanatic’s landmark. It wasn’t hard then to guess that his brother surely was in the neighborhood’s church. Connor stopped to discreetly follow the blond man and ran toward toward the place of worship. He knew that the unknown man heard him. He knew that he’ll chase him. But whatever, he had to run, to run even faster than his body allowed him to so he could save his brother. The neighborhood was immense, the church was on the opposed side.  
Connor had difficulty to run. Worry was strangling him, he quickly was exhausted, he was also hearing the man behind him, and it wasn’t reassuring. He had to stop his race a moment to lose the fanatic’s tail. While he took some advance, he hid in an unknown place. He tried to calm his breathing, without success. He tried to be as discreet as possible but what did he was expecting ? That crazy man surely knew the place better than him. It was obvious that he would soon find him. And he indeed find him. Having the effect of surprise, He took him by the collar. The policeman quickly analyzed the situation and stopped the blond man before he sank his knife in his stomach. Connor kicked his abdomen to push him away from him and he knocked him down with his gun’s cross.

The browned eye boy stared his fall, thinking that if he let him here, he would surely be eaten while being asleep. Connor sighed exhausted before living him and move toward the church. He regrettably couldn’t spend more time here if he wanted to save his brother.  
The policeman felt himself starting to choke again. He reassured himself by thinking that the threat was far away, that this strange man couldn’t kill his brother now that he was unconscious. But he prayed for Collin not to be hurt. Each and every possible atrocities came up in the mind of the young man as he was running. Collin could be so fragile because of his Beta’s nature. Maybe this man didn’t only hurt him… ?  
Connor stopped breathing one second as he thought of that. He run sped up the pace. Soon, he saw the church and tried to open the huge old door, without success. He punched it, again and again. He called his brother :  
« COLLIN ! COLLIN ! »  
All he could hear was weak whines and stammered Latin words. So he kept punching the door violently and it finally opened. Connor started to breath normally again, thinking that his heart will finally be able to relax a little. But he just stopped breathing.  
His brother was indeed here. He was right.  
But his brother was on the altar, hand and knees linked to the marble through big rusted nails, his face superficially slashed. Blood still was streaming from his opened throat and stomach. And Connor saw it. Connor saw his terrorized look and the last salty drop rolling down his face. He arrived too late, just a little bit too late. If only he arrived one minute before…Fatality weighed on the elder’s shoulders and all he could do was lying down on his knees and cry.  
« Collin... »  
Everything was still alright this morning.  
« It’s impossible… ! »  
He prayed yet.  
« Why… ? Why him… ?  
He prayed yet so their gods and their ancestors could protect them.  
« It’s unfair ! UNFAIR ! »  
He was giving him hope.  
« Collin… ! My Collin...My dear little brother… ! »  
He was his innocent light in this dark and cruel world.  
« Give me back my brother... »  
An angel mangled by mad people.  
« Give me back my brother...I beg you... »  
A child slaughtered just for fun.

His tears stiffed him, his heart chocked him. Black clouds of despair had suddenly invade the blue sky of his mind and lightning stroked as he saw his little sunshine’s executioners.  
« An intruder in our Lord’s house ! »  
One of the men started to take out his knife but Connor shot his arm. The two others immediately put their hands in the air. Connor was mad at them. He was ready to stick a butllet in everybody’s head, but his anger prevented it. Not because it was again ethic, after what those retards had done, he didn’t give a shit about ethic. The thing was that he wanted to hurt them, a whole lot. He wanted to torture them until his very own death. He wanted to get them as mad as his brother’s death made him.   
The policeman took great care tp attach them firmly to chairs before coming close to his brother’s body. He immediately put his hand on his mouth. His wounds were really disgusting. They punctured his stomach with a knife and, he didn’t knew how they had managed to do this, but the cuts were large enough to see what was below. The young brown eyed man put his hand on his cadet’s chest. His heart stopped beating, but his body still was warm. He then looked at his eyes. His ingenuous aquamarines were still frightened. The elder stared at these, and the more he looked at these, the more he felt himself dying inside. Connor kissed his forehead as he cried again and closed his brother’s eyes.  
« Collin... »  
He sat on the edge of the altar.  
« It’s blasphemy ! A heretic pig like can’t sit on the altar !  
-SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I FUCKING SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD ! »  
One of the three man whispered to his comrade.  
« Simon, I think you should avoid to talk…  
-But lord Markus… »

Connor overturned to them.  
« His stuff...what did you do to it ?  
-They’re in the next room. »  
Connor outfaced the bi color eyed man.  
« « Lord », huh ? And you don’t even know what that room’s name... »  
The lieutenant entered the room and a sick and desesperate smile appeared on his face when he found his little brother’s weapon.  
He came back with a baseball bate, letting the tip of it drag on the floor.  
He calmly asked :  
« Which of you kidnapped my brother… ? »  
The three men looked at each other.  
The one named Simon affirmed :  
« It’s me !  
-Who decided to kill him ?  
-Me !  
-And who did that ?  
-Me ! »  
The lieutenant stared at him, looking exhausted, or rather fakely exhausted. He had so much hatred, so much despair in him that he had a detached expression. And it was frightening  
It scared the fanatics because they knew he was holding a grudge to them, but his face showed no emotions and they didn’t knew what he was going to do to them.  
« You’re lying... »

He slowly got close to him.  
« You didn’t do everything by yourself, did you ? »  
The blond man didn’t answered.  
« You put yourself on the front line so I can’t hurt your boss, righ ? »  
The accused one still didn’t answer.  
« But it’s obvious that he’s part of the thing...He certainly is the one who told you to kidnap this young man...who told you to kill him...and maybe even the one who, as the great priest, sank the blade in my precious little brother’s belly… »  
None of the three.  
« No answer ? It doesn’t matter... »  
A dreadful smile slowly appeared on his face.  
« My vengeance will be great weight to carry on, but whatever. I’ll discard it...and I have all the time of the world to do it... »  
As he stood beside him, he got ready to hit the blond.  
« Stay quiet, okay… ? You don’t wanna your master to be the next... »  
He let his power out and the bate violently hit Simon’s knee and he couldn’t help but screamed.  
« That’s what you told to my brother, right ?! That’s what you told him before killing him, right ?! »  
He broke his other knee and the blond screamed again.  
« Did he screamed ? »  
He threatened him to hit him again while the fanatic cried.  
« Yes !  
« Did he tried to prevent himself from screaming to protect me ?!  
-Yes ! »  
He stepped aside to look at all of them.  
« And how did it make you feel ? »  
Neither of the three answered to the young man’s question.

Connor felt his anger changed in sadness. He overturned to his lifeless little brother’s body. He stepped close to him and sat down on the edge of the altar again and took the corpse in his arms. He didn’t let it go of all day. Neither the next day. He didn’t wanted to let him go. He didn’t wanted to leave him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell yeah, things start to get bad. I prevent y'all: things are going to get disturbing within the next chapter (only for a few...maybe.)
> 
> Thank you for reading ! Don't forget to leave kudos or comments if you feel like doing it !


	4. Survivor guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, new chapter ! I'm sorry it got so long to be posted ! Well, while translating this chapter, I remember that I accidentally erased a part of it so...I didn't have the motivation to write it again.  
And I have some...bad news I guess ? x) School will start soon and I will not have a lot of time to translate my fic. So, don't worry, the story won't end here ! I'll try to translate during the vacations ! I'll do my best for you all ! 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter ! Feel free to left a kudo or a comment !

Connor spent those two days lamenting himself, only lamenting himself and crying. Sometimes, he spoke to that corpse like it still was alive, laughing bitterly by asking who would call him big brother now that he was dead. Only to be answered by a cold silence. But finally, the elder resigned himself, still with regret, to let his cadet join the other world. He felt another weight on his heart. He knew that he couldn’t give him a proper burial. All he could do was letting him in a place of cult which did not belong to them and pray again. He set the dead body in a room and sealed it. Everyday, the lieutenant burned spirit money for his brother and made offerings for his gods. Everyday, he ignored the fanatics who where complaining. He didn’t wanted to hurt them anymore. He didn’t had the force to do it anymore and he was mad at himself for being crazy like them during a moment. He still was hesitating to free them. After all, he didn’t had anything to do with them now. But he was scared that this littlest amount of kindness within could go against him. In the worst case, he’ll join his brother, and that wouldn’t be a problem, in fact. Beside, he didn’t eat too. He didn’t had the force to do this too. The young browned eye young man lied down on the mattress. It was dirty, but it was better than lying on the ground. He closed his eyes, exhausted, and soon fell asleep.

« Hey. »  
The boy dressed in black shake his hand in front of the boy dressed in white’s face.  
« Heeeey ! Hey ! Anybody there ? »  
The concerned one violently pushed his arm aside and grunted. Connor stared at his brother sitted in front of his desk before putting his hand on his shoulders and shaking him.  
« Hey ! Collin ! Tell me what’s wrong ! »  
This time, Collin repelled him even more violently and the elder almost fell on the floor.  
« Leave me alone !  
-It’s my room too ! I can stay if I want to ! »  
The youngest of them put his elbows on the table and put his hand on his hands.  
« I didn’t tell you to get out. I just told you to leave me... »  
Connor puffed his cheeks and crossed his arms. What a drama queen, this little brother !  
He sat down in front of his own desk and they remained silent for what seemed to be an eternity for the shortest of the two. He was staring at his cadet and he was sure that he could heard him sob sometimes. He didn’t knew exactly why, but the fact that his little brother didn’t talked to him, even rejected him was exasperating him. He stared at his desk to see if he hadn’t an eraser or something to throw at him so he could have his attention. He took an old tennis ball and threw it at the tallest one.  
The toy passed near his head but only slightly brushed him. The blue horizon eyed boy blenched when he saw the ball lent on his desk and he overturned to throw a dirty and menacing look at his brother. His twin barely had the time to gulp that his brother swung him the ball and, unlike the older one, he succeeded to throw it right into his face. Collin sighed briefly but loudly and his twin didn’t tried to seek vengeance. He knew that between the two of them, his cadet would win the upper hand this battle of flying object. Plus, mom would be mad at them…  
He sighed loudly. He was frustrated, really frustrated. He took the ball and violently threw it at the wall. But it immediately went back to his head. He got ready to grunt but his anger faded away when he heard his little brother laughing softly. He stared at him. What a magical view. The sun was subtly shining behind his twin. Collin was putting his hand in front of his mouth, wanting to hide his smile. And his laugh, my God, his laugh ! It was composed by the most delicate and melodious music notes that could exist ! But the whit dressed boy became sad again when he saw his brother smiling as well. He turned his back to him again and took back his initial position, staring bitterly an invisible point on the surface of his desk. His surliness began to rub off on his big brother. And seeing him like this was the worst thing in the world for his big brother. But they stayed silent a moment. Two minutes ? Three ? Seventeen maybe ? The tallest of them didn’t knew and didn’t even wanted to know. He wasn’t seeing the time flew. But suddenly, something lend gently on his desk. He blinked when he saw the paper plane. It seemed that there was something written on it. He took it and unfolded it.  
« What’s wrong ?:(»

He overturned to see his brother. He seemed to be as sad as him suddenly. But the youngest affirmed :  
« There’s nothing, Connor... »  
He faced his desk again and saw another paper plane lend on his desk. He unfolded it too and read :  
« I’m worried, Collin. :c »  
The concerned one stared at the message during one minute before finally taking a pen. He scrawled something on the paper and carefuly folded it. Then, he turned to his brother who was staring at the wall, waiting for a reply. He send the plane to his twin and faced his desk, his childish mind impatiently waiting for a reply. And that’s how a strange conversation started between the two brothers.  
« I’m worried as well.  
-Why ?  
-I’m scared.  
-Scared ? What’s scare you, Collin ?  
-And you ? Why are you scared ?  
-I’m sad...You’re talking less and less to me...You’re sad too and you don’t wanna tell me a thing... »  
The conversation stopped there, when Collin received the paper plane again. He was hesitant. But he decided to throw the paper plane again and tell his brother the problem, since he was so concerned.  
« I’m scared of losing you, big brother. »  
Connor stared the message and felt his heart panic. Why does his twin was suddenly scared of losing him ?

The future lieutenant left the paper on his desk and came close to his cadet who didn’t even turned nor looked at him once he was next to him.  
« What do you mean « you’re scared of losing me » ? »  
Collin took a big breath. Even if he hadn’t tears in his eyes yet, he seemed to be about to cry at any time. He was fumbling his fingers.  
« Nothing...nothing...it’s….it’s really stupid. Please, forget it... »  
The shortest seemed to be even more concerned. He put a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed it.  
« Tell me what it is. I wanna know.  
-It’s...it truly is nothing...It’s just egoist….forget it please…  
-Collin... »

Connor sank his hand in his little brother’s hair. His fingers gently leaded his head on his brother’s one.  
« Tell me please... »  
They stayed like this a long minute. The big brother was gently caressing him and this with the proximity seemed to rassure the youngest.  
« Mama will be angry if I tell you…  
-I’ll defend you ! »  
Collin sighed and lifted up himself, removing his brother’s hand from his hair. He joined both of his hand and trapped them between his own legs. He stared at the desk and explained :  
« I’m scared that you leave, Connor…  
-Why ? »  
Just by seeing him like this, Connor could say that his cadet’s heart was squeezing like hell.  
« Because one day, you’ll have a lover, and you’ll get married and… ! And… ! »  
The youngster's voice cracked suddenly when he said « married ».  
« And you’ll leave me all alone… ! »  
But Connor contested immediately :  
« Never ! »  
His little brother turned to see him, surprised.  
« I’ll never let you !  
-But look...mama...she left auntie when she got married with daddy…  
-Well I won’t ! I always want to be with you ! I don’t wanna go ! I want us to be together forever ! »  
He forced his brother to stand up and took his hands in his.  
« I won’t go with my wife ! I’ll stay with you ! »  
The two brothers stared at each other during a moment, and the elder kissed his cadet’s cheek before leading the two of them near the door.  
« Come on ! Let’s go outside ! It’s still summer and the weather is beautiful ! We should enjoy it ! »  
Collin gently squeezed his tiny hand in his and finally smiled.  
« Yes ! You’re right ! »  
They quickly got down the stairs and got out in the garden. But once there, Collin stopped suddenly, stopping his brother in the same time. The shortest overturned to him and saw his playful expression, even if he wasn’t smiling anymore.  
« But next time you’ll play with the girls, you’ll go back with Tracy again…  
-But it’s normal, she is always playing the princess and me the knight. »  
The tallest of the two faked to pout. So his twin immediately tried to reassure him.  
« I won’t go with her ! I’ll stay with you ! You’ll be the princess and I’ll be your knight ! »  
Collin smiled again.  
« Okay, but you’ll be the princess and I’ll be the knight.  
-Okay ! If you want to ! »  
This time, the look of the blue horizon eyed boy seemed to be finally satisfied.  
He put his and behind his brother’s knees and carried him like a princesse. His twin’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t waiting for this to happen.  
« Your majesty... »  
Connor burst out laughing and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck. He gently squished his cheek to his brother’s.  
« My knight in a shining armor ! »  
They laughed loudly together...

But their laughs echoed far beyond. Suddenly, Connor wasn’t carried anymore. Suddenly, he wasn’t clinging to anybody. He was surrounded by darkness. Clouds of ashes were floating over his head. The least, very least glimpse of visible sky was vermilion. He looked at the sky and saw far, far away from him a ray of sunshine piercing those dark clouds. When he wanted to move forward this light, a piercing pain stopped him to make another footstep. But once his step done, he heard the sound of two pieces of iron clashing, and when he fell, he heard the same sound. The pain weighing on the little boy’s knees was unbearable. But what kind of scrath could hurt him this much ? He looked down at himself and the view disgusted him. Enormous nails, thick and rusted were stuck into his legs. But why ? Who sticked those nails ? And when ? The questions called him upon paying attention to the world around him. But the only thing he could sense were morose grunts which seemed to got closer to him. The boy stood up and tried to run, but he only managed to walk awkwardly and disorderly.  
So he moved forward this luminous place, as fastly as his bloody legs were allowing him to. The more he was closer to it, the more he seemed to recognize this place.  
It was a park, a little park were they were going often when they were younger…  
He arrived in front of the barriers of the garden. He clanged to these with his tiny hands and put his head against the barriers, trying to see what was inside the park.  
He could hear babyish soft laughs and barks. He moved, following the gate, getting closer to the voice. And soon, he saw the source of these sounds.  
On the grass bathed in light, he saw a little boy looking just like him, except he was dressed in white and he had blue soothing eyes. This little boy was with a big labrador and he was abundantly caressing it. Connor’s heart got warmer. He took a huge breath, filling completely his tiny lungs, and he screamed :  
« COLLIN ! »  
The concerned one didn’t heard him. He was tenderly smiling at his dog. He was kissing it and laughing when it licked him. While some meters away, his big brother was calling him.  
« COLLIN ! COLLIN ! IT’S ME ! CONNOR ! »

Hearing this name, the whit dressed boy stopped suddenly everything he was doing. He stared at nothing for a long moment. The big brother’s expression shined as he saw his cadet standing up and getting closer to him. So he kept calling him, softly. Once facing him, Connor lifted up his hand to caress his cheek, but his twin gently pushed his hand aside. He exploited their contact and put something in his hand. The browned eyed boy looked at it. It was a poppy bud that suddenly bloomed. There was a piece of carton inside of it and there was something written on :  
« You killed me, big brother. »  
The elder’s heart skipped a beat after reading this and he screamed when he felt a sharp pain in his hand. Collin stick a nail in his hand, then in his other.  
« Constantly cycling over and over, with only the river Wangchuan at the end of your journey. »  
The youngest pulled over his hands, rubbing the rusted metal that pierced those.  
« Yet the knot of sin still lies unsolved. The bridge leading to Paramita, lies in collapse. »  
He then sank his hands in his brother hair and pulled it, sticking his head between the bars.  
« So the requiem, with a warm crescendo, welcomes you once again. »  
He forced and finally achieved his action.  
He crouched and stared impassively that detached head’s tears. His brother was still conscious.  
« I hope you you’re not mad at me because I killed you. Ah, whatever...You didn’t blamed yourself though you let me suffer while you were safe in the house. »  
He took a wood stick and touched this head with it like it was just a disgusting insect.  
« It’s infernal, Connor. Hell’s God won’t stop destroying my tower to heaven. »  
The white dressed boy plunged the stick in the messy section.  
« You abandoned me, Connor. I thought you would protect me, like the big brother you should be...You told me that we’ll always be together… »  
He stood up and let the stick fall on the head on the ground.  
« Well, I suppose that we are, now, in a way...When you’ll join us in hell, believe me, it’s not the devil that you’ll fear... »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Wangchuan river (or Sanzu in japanese culture) is a river that dead people's spirit has to pass through to go to hell. Children don't do that. They must make a tower with tiny pebbles in order to climb it to go to Heaven as a redemption of their sins. But Hell's god always destroy it before they reach Heaven, so few of them make it to Heaven.
> 
> *Paramita means perfection, supreme virtue or nirvana. It is part of buddhism religion. There are ten stages of development:
> 
> -Generosity  
-Morality  
-Patience and tolerance  
-Energy  
-Contemplation  
-Wisdom  
-Skillful means  
-Determination  
-Spiritual power  
-Knowledge
> 
> If I made any error on my text or in my explanations, please feel free to tell me !


End file.
